Tuesday, August 16, 2011
If that guy who called me a nigger knew how blessed my life is, he'd wish he was a nigger too!
Title: If that guy who called me a nigger knew how blessed my life is, he'd wish he was a nigger too!
Warning: I use the N word throughout this for a particular point to be funny and sarcastic. I'm taking power out of the word for myself having fun with it for my own personal therapy. I don't normally ever use this word, and don't approve of it other than in proper context like history books such as Tom Sawyer, or when the stupidity of it is being mocked.
A song with the lyric "get thee behind me satan" was the second song Steel Pulse played at the awesome concert we went to last night. I needed to dance and sing to that, because the devil was trying to ruin our good time. Not only did I nearly get us in a wreck getting onto the Wash./Jeff. St. bridge because my blind spot was blocked by a towel I had in the window to block the sun for Eva. But then later we were merging onto MLK blvd and the traffic was crawling because of the work there some guy in traffic didn't let me in and yelled out his window "hey nigger!" Yes, it was a truly wild, and stunning moment for me and Shelley, who've never had that happen to us. It has not happened to me since I was really young on main street in Springfield with my mom. Funny how I remember that. Unfortunately, this guy was going to Springfield. It's too bad that it takes only a few to taint the reputation of entire communities. I know there are a lot of fantastic people who work hard to make Springfield a really nice place to live. What as particularly sad, was that his family was in the car with him. I am glad that certain members of my family were not in the car with me, and hope they would have somehow stayed in the car considering, because that is just a messed up moment no matter how you handle it. Stuck in traffic? Dumb idea dude, cause the wrong guy pulls over and shows up at your window ready for violence. However, since I was with my wife and daughter, I just played it cool, and putted down the street so we could see the show. My getting out of the car to give him a beating would have traumatized Shelley much more than the preceding moment.
So, the next day, I'm trying not to give it any power. But, it is still in my mind. Clearly, this is because that word, like others in human history has been a weapon of Satan himself to mess with people. I think I'm also reeling for all of those people on earth who have to go through much worse pain than one moment under the demonic spirit of one human degrading another. But what is funny is that when I recall the moment, I just laugh at how stupid he looked and sounded doing it. The devil has planted in his mind that somehow he'd be better off without having to live with niggers. He doesn't realize that he was off base with his anthropology? Had he taken a closer look, he would have seen that my light complexion and thin nose reveals that I really am a niindiitalian. Now that would have been impressive if he'd demonstrated a more well rounded ability to insult by calling me that.
I wonder if his life is better because he tagged a nigger? Many niggers have fought and died for his flag so he can live a sweet life here in America. Did his wife jump his bones later that night telling him how sexy of a nigger teller he is? Did his kids give him an extra long hug and kiss before they went to bed, telling him how proud they are of their big tough nigger calling dad? Is he going to tell his church congregation how much he served the Lord by making sure a nigger heard that word? Will he tell his boss on Monday, and possibly get a promotion or a raise? Will his doctor tell him to keep that activity up, and it will greatly reduce his risk of heart attack or stroke? Will his cable company call and tell him they will be giving him a monthly discount for being such a warrior?
I'm choosing to turn this into a positive for my soul. I will not let the dark side get to me to make me think that I have to fear the world, or white people. Far from it. It was a black person who stole all of my family money in a business deal. There is no color to wrong.
It does bring up so much to ponder. Like how incredibly stupid that was considering that in the days of slavery, a white person had ultimate power and no fear of retaliation. Today, I could have been just returning from Afghanistan with guns in my car ready to snap. I could have been severely mentally ill, ready to snap. Does he not think about officer Kilcullen, shot dead by a woman mentally unstable? Did he not consider that I may have been looking for that moment as an excuse to take out years of rage and torment from whatever I may have gone through on his face? How stupid was he to take the chance that I was going to be peaceful in that moment? I am sure alcohol dulled his judgment terribly, but, it could have been his last night of drinking ever.
So, I am praying for this person, because Jesus died at terrible death for him too. I am praying for his family, that his kids aren't scarred from growing up in a house where the dad is so insecure, he has to harass others to make himself feel better. I am letting this light my fire in several ways.
• It lights my fire to be a better husband and father
• It lights my fire to be a more loving Christian to everyone, even those who's heads I'd like to rip off in a moment of rage.
• It lights my fire to be the best professional I can be and make so much money that I can bless others.
• It lights my fire to honor veterans who don't care the color of the soldier next to them who is risking their lives to save ours.
• It lights my fire to care more about people who's lives are not as blessed as mine.
The word used to be used as power over someone from a person who had so much more. But, it's 2011!! I can make any amount of money, I own a house, I have respect, and his word won't stop me. How was that supposed to mean anything? In fact, my competitive edge makes me want to work harder, and to make even more of a difference in my community. Honestly, it's kind of an 'in your face' attitude, and I admit it. I won't let it make me bitter though in any way. I have pity on that poor life. If that guy only knew the life I live, he'd want to be a nigger too.
So, get thee behind me satan, because the spirit that lives in me conquered the grave, and is greater than you who lives here on the earth. Thank you Lord for all you give to me. Amen
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Warning: I use the N word throughout this for a particular point to be funny and sarcastic. I'm taking power out of the word for myself having fun with it for my own personal therapy. I don't normally ever use this word, and don't approve of it other than in proper context like history books such as Tom Sawyer, or when the stupidity of it is being mocked.
A song with the lyric "get thee behind me satan" was the second song Steel Pulse played at the awesome concert we went to last night. I needed to dance and sing to that, because the devil was trying to ruin our good time. Not only did I nearly get us in a wreck getting onto the Wash./Jeff. St. bridge because my blind spot was blocked by a towel I had in the window to block the sun for Eva. But then later we were merging onto MLK blvd and the traffic was crawling because of the work there some guy in traffic didn't let me in and yelled out his window "hey nigger!" Yes, it was a truly wild, and stunning moment for me and Shelley, who've never had that happen to us. It has not happened to me since I was really young on main street in Springfield with my mom. Funny how I remember that. Unfortunately, this guy was going to Springfield. It's too bad that it takes only a few to taint the reputation of entire communities. I know there are a lot of fantastic people who work hard to make Springfield a really nice place to live. What as particularly sad, was that his family was in the car with him. I am glad that certain members of my family were not in the car with me, and hope they would have somehow stayed in the car considering, because that is just a messed up moment no matter how you handle it. Stuck in traffic? Dumb idea dude, cause the wrong guy pulls over and shows up at your window ready for violence. However, since I was with my wife and daughter, I just played it cool, and putted down the street so we could see the show. My getting out of the car to give him a beating would have traumatized Shelley much more than the preceding moment.
So, the next day, I'm trying not to give it any power. But, it is still in my mind. Clearly, this is because that word, like others in human history has been a weapon of Satan himself to mess with people. I think I'm also reeling for all of those people on earth who have to go through much worse pain than one moment under the demonic spirit of one human degrading another. But what is funny is that when I recall the moment, I just laugh at how stupid he looked and sounded doing it. The devil has planted in his mind that somehow he'd be better off without having to live with niggers. He doesn't realize that he was off base with his anthropology? Had he taken a closer look, he would have seen that my light complexion and thin nose reveals that I really am a niindiitalian. Now that would have been impressive if he'd demonstrated a more well rounded ability to insult by calling me that.
I wonder if his life is better because he tagged a nigger? Many niggers have fought and died for his flag so he can live a sweet life here in America. Did his wife jump his bones later that night telling him how sexy of a nigger teller he is? Did his kids give him an extra long hug and kiss before they went to bed, telling him how proud they are of their big tough nigger calling dad? Is he going to tell his church congregation how much he served the Lord by making sure a nigger heard that word? Will he tell his boss on Monday, and possibly get a promotion or a raise? Will his doctor tell him to keep that activity up, and it will greatly reduce his risk of heart attack or stroke? Will his cable company call and tell him they will be giving him a monthly discount for being such a warrior?
I'm choosing to turn this into a positive for my soul. I will not let the dark side get to me to make me think that I have to fear the world, or white people. Far from it. It was a black person who stole all of my family money in a business deal. There is no color to wrong.
It does bring up so much to ponder. Like how incredibly stupid that was considering that in the days of slavery, a white person had ultimate power and no fear of retaliation. Today, I could have been just returning from Afghanistan with guns in my car ready to snap. I could have been severely mentally ill, ready to snap. Does he not think about officer Kilcullen, shot dead by a woman mentally unstable? Did he not consider that I may have been looking for that moment as an excuse to take out years of rage and torment from whatever I may have gone through on his face? How stupid was he to take the chance that I was going to be peaceful in that moment? I am sure alcohol dulled his judgment terribly, but, it could have been his last night of drinking ever.
So, I am praying for this person, because Jesus died at terrible death for him too. I am praying for his family, that his kids aren't scarred from growing up in a house where the dad is so insecure, he has to harass others to make himself feel better. I am letting this light my fire in several ways.
• It lights my fire to be a better husband and father
• It lights my fire to be a more loving Christian to everyone, even those who's heads I'd like to rip off in a moment of rage.
• It lights my fire to be the best professional I can be and make so much money that I can bless others.
• It lights my fire to honor veterans who don't care the color of the soldier next to them who is risking their lives to save ours.
• It lights my fire to care more about people who's lives are not as blessed as mine.
The word used to be used as power over someone from a person who had so much more. But, it's 2011!! I can make any amount of money, I own a house, I have respect, and his word won't stop me. How was that supposed to mean anything? In fact, my competitive edge makes me want to work harder, and to make even more of a difference in my community. Honestly, it's kind of an 'in your face' attitude, and I admit it. I won't let it make me bitter though in any way. I have pity on that poor life. If that guy only knew the life I live, he'd want to be a nigger too.
So, get thee behind me satan, because the spirit that lives in me conquered the grave, and is greater than you who lives here on the earth. Thank you Lord for all you give to me. Amen
· · Share · Delete
- Serena Maria Selah Markstrom You are a man, such a good man. Thank you for sharing.July 23 at 10:20pm ·
- Larry Kenton You have just described GRACE, my dear friend. I admire that in you and pray that it will always be a growing part of who you are, Callan. Your friendship to me is so very special.July 24 at 3:42am ·
- Scott Golla I am so sorry, Cal. I'm angry for you, and happy you did the gentlemanly thing. Not returning violence for violence. I just... wow... Yeah, you did the right thing. And I'm glad you used this 'note' feature on Facebook to sort of channel that energy. That's what the note feature is for! What a great note!July 24 at 3:47am ·
- Cris McGrath I din't think that still took place - one doesn't hear it here down underJuly 24 at 5:18am ·
- Karen Goertzen Stuve I believe you would have reacted the same even if Shelley and Eva had not been there. Your lack of action was because God is with you, not because the family was with you. God bless you...abundantly!July 24 at 9:20am ·
- Callan Coleman All of your comments have blessed me deeply! Such healing. Thank you all.July 24 at 10:24am ·
- Shannon Bross Overman So proud to call you my friend. Had I been in the car with you, not so sure I could have remained seated. I hope to learn from your shining example. Love you!July 24 at 11:35am ·
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